🌙 Inbox - Marc Spector's Dead Drop

[reflectedlight]

If he's told you how to find it, a loose ceiling panel above the Lyfe Boat on the first floor is where you can leave hand-written notes inside of library books if you're trying to reach Marc Spector.

If he hasn't told you how to find it, you shouldn't be here. Marc doesn't exist. You want Steven Grant's Inbox.

This functions like a normal inbox, but it is mostly text which can lead into spam.
Put date in the header, please!
Marc tags from reflectedlight
Steven tags from de_nile

Comments

[worthallthis]

"I actually think I've got more in common with you than I've got with Steven," B points out with half a smile. They both have anxiety spirals and a love of animals, maybe, but there's other things he finds himself drawn to with Marc. He can't think of anything just fun he'd do with Steven. Marc, he can think of fun things they'd do, like parkour and sparring and maybe even just catching an action movie they both would sit and mock mercilessly.

He might need to work on the animal thing, though. Maybe Marc will like the goats more than the dogs? It's something to think about.

Either way: "I'd like to be friends with you, if you're interested."

[reflectedlight]

Marc's definition of friend is guy you can call to pick you up in a helicopter and won't ask you questions about it or sometimes moon god that won't leave.

How do you say don't get attached to me, I have not felt an emotion in months and if my luck holds I plan to just coast to graduation before that ends in real people language again?

"I'm not a people guy, but I'd make this a regular thing, if you want. We'll either end up friends or... we'll hate each other but at least we'll be doing something else during it, so it won't matter that much."

[worthallthis]

Yeah, if he said anything like that aloud, B would never believe him. He's seen Marc clearly experience like a dozen emotions in the cumulative hour and a half or so of time he's been in his presence.

"Considering I've had three conversations with you so far, and come away from each one thinking 'I like that guy', I don't think hating each other is likely," he comments. "Unless you're holding out on me about hating me."

The last part comes with a wry smile that says he's joking. At least mostly.

[reflectedlight]

??Why would anyone like Marc? Marc doesn't even like Marc. Marc's parents don't even like Marc and they had literally millions of years of species survival instincts they had to fight against to pull that one off.

"I don't hate you. I'm a little jealous at how normal you ended up after you went through way worse crap than we did, but I know whose problems those are."

Marc's. They are Marc's problems. Marc brought enough problems to share with the class.

"I just don't always know how to deal with... nice. Guessing wardening Yelena you've already seen how that works, though."

The fucked up childhood trust issues thing.

[worthallthis]

Well, Marc's parents were fucked up and Marc has a warped sense of self. B gets it, he does, is own self-image has been through the wringer-- but it doesn't change the fact that he thinks Marc's his speed for somebody to hang out with. Gonna have to deal with it, Marc.

But there's also a little misconception to clear up. "I am not normal," B says with a little laugh. "I promise you. I have to write down every experience, out of the irrational fear that my memories are going to be taken away again. I make half a dozen plans for simple things, just in case. I always have to be armed, and I can never be barefoot unless I'm actually in the bath. I carry a scrap of sheepskin in my pocket for bad moments, because touching soft things helps calm me down, and I need Steve to hug me through freakouts pretty regularly."

He shakes his head. "I'm still fucked up, man, I just have weird coping methods coming out of my ears. I'm sure we can get you some of those, too. Healthy-ish ones, even."

[reflectedlight]

"Does it hold up outside of here?"

That's a sincere question; Marc even makes tired eye contact.

"Like, if you go back, and you get thrown straight back into the bullshit you two left behind, do you just end up back in old habits, or do the improvements stick?"

[worthallthis]

"Depends," B says. "I didn't do so hot in the nine years between being an inmate and coming back as warden, but I also hadn't worked out all the coping methods yet then, and the world out there-- really didn't like me, which made it harder. Not impossible, but harder. I did better the two years we spent in Steve's universe, with more time as-- as a person behind me, and more practice with different things to do. It depends, at least some, on how hard you try, here and there. If you half-ass it here, you'll lose it all out there when things get hard. Getting things solid and familiar here at least gives you a baseline to work with."

[reflectedlight]

"I should move so I don't cool down too much. You wanna go slow so we can keep talking?"

Marc screws the cap back on his water, sticks it in his day pack.

so sorry for the delay, vacation led to sick :(

[worthallthis]

"Sure." B picks himself up, tossing the water bottle he'd been loaned back over to tuck into the bag. "How about that direction? It's a little less challenging than the way we came." He points to what appears to be an old brownstone, bending over backwards onto itself and leading to a weirdly-placed avenue full of lamposts.

dude np stuff happens. i hope youre recovering <3

[reflectedlight]

Marc shrugs, nods and will follow at a more sedate pace.

Which, for a normal human, is still pretty nuts, but for these guys is like, leisurely.

"Nine years. What made you come back?"

slowly :P still sniffly and it is very annoying, but finally back at work today!

[worthallthis]

B does his best to keep it even slower than Yelena would take it, because he's pretty sure Marc's got the energy out and now needs to work his brain out a little more, and that's easier to do when you go slower, focus on where to put your hands rather than how fast you can monkey-leap around. "Well, I did spend five of it as dust, so technically I only experienced four. But my Steve-- well, went off into the past to be with his girlfriend from the war, and once he was gone, I discovered that pretty much nobody else liked or trusted me. After six months or so of that, I decided coming back here where nobody thought I was a terrorist or a bionic staring machine was better for me, even if I thought all my friends would be gone by then."

He swings up onto another angle of the twisted building. "Big surprise to me to find out that to the people here, I'd only been gone a couple days."

take it easy! drink fluids!!

[reflectedlight]

"Dust?"

Okay, so, he's caught up that in the original timeline, Thanos killed everyone, but he missed this part.

Marc's bag is swinging at an awkward angle - he clings with one hand and one foot to adjust it, then keeps going. Carefully. Supposedly falls here can't kill you, but it's a bad habit to assume they're safe.