🌙 Inbox - Marc Spector's Dead Drop

[reflectedlight]

If he's told you how to find it, a loose ceiling panel above the Lyfe Boat on the first floor is where you can leave hand-written notes inside of library books if you're trying to reach Marc Spector.

If he hasn't told you how to find it, you shouldn't be here. Marc doesn't exist. You want Steven Grant's Inbox.

This functions like a normal inbox, but it is mostly text which can lead into spam.
Put date in the header, please!
Marc tags from reflectedlight
Steven tags from de_nile

Comments

[de_nile]

"Um," says Steven, who doesn't want to say you seem like you are out of your depth when you have to try to deal with people who are suffering and also depending on you. "D'you know, it's only just occurred to me that I've got no idea what time it is, do you think you'd prefer decaf?"

[mercurialize]

"Whoa. Hey. Don't avoid the question."

Nice try, my guy! But he's not that dumb.

Sometimes.

[de_nile]

"I don't - ... well, it's not mean, but it's not polite, either. And I was serious about the decaf.... You don't quite have a bedside manner? Which isn't required to practice medicine, obviously, I, there's plenty of talented doctors who don't have any of that, but I'm not sure taking care of people is something you particularly, er, like?

Again, could be fine. I don't know where I was going with it, honestly."

[mercurialize]

"Oh." Bedside what? Seriously? "I ran an apothecary for a couple months but that's not actually my profession. Usually I kill people for a living." He says it so casually that the meaning could be easily overlooked.

"And you can just give me whatever you're having."

1/2

[de_nile]

"I'm having caffeine on purpose, so I don't go back to sleep and sleepwalk again toni-"

2/2

[de_nile]

"-did you just say you kill people?"

Steven twists around and nearly gets the hot water on his shoes.

[mercurialize]

"Yeah." He replies without missing a beat. "Caffeine's fine for me, then."

[de_nile]

"Why on earth do you do that? That's sounds terrible."

You're a warden, but like, dude. Literally why. This is like you saying that you eat thumbtacks for a living. Bro, stop.

[mercurialize]

"It is." Terrible. He completely agrees. "I wouldn't recommend it."

He debates a moment, still standing and watching Steven. This is... so jarring considering Marc and... all that he saw just a little bit ago. He doesn't mind playing along, the repetition. But it's weird, this whole disconnection isn't something he's seen or dealt with before.

[de_nile]

Steven is at least: a little smarter than Marc! He can put together I wouldn't recommend it and I'm still doing it as there's a third element here that means I'm stuck.

"Oh, mate," Steven says, sympathetically. "Isn't there any way out of that?"

Little coffee pod is being popped open in the machine. Very satisfying noise.

[mercurialize]

"Tried that, hence the apothecary for a couple months. Didn't last." Should he say he gets to choose his own deaders now so it's not so bad? No. Maybe not. That might sound worse to the wrong people and he's not sure if Steven is the right people. Doesn't seem like he is.

Machine's weird. The noises are weird. He's watching it intently and Steven, for that matter.

[de_nile]

Steven tilts his head.

"It's little, er, single-serve concentrates," Steven says. He rattles the one he's going to use next, identical to the first. "I'm so sorry, though. Can the ship help at all?"

[mercurialize]

He doesn't really understand it but, then again, coffee itself is kind of a new concept for him.

"No, and if I'm being honest, I wouldn't want it to."

He pauses a moment, considering.

"Does that bother you?" Because it probably should. He assumes, generally speaking, that people should hate him. Marc certainly had lost his shit about it to some degree. Maybe he's trying to see if Steven does the same.

[de_nile]

"Which part?"

Marc is very... black and white.

[mercurialize]

He shrugs. "I don't know. You tell me. Any of it?"

[de_nile]

"Well. Don't like that you kill people, but I imagine you don't need me telling you why, you'd know the job better than I do. Don't like that you don't have a way out. And... a bit worried that you wouldn't want to?"

Steven sighs, shakes his head.

"This place is all so complicated. I was raised by a, you know, a fairly adamant pacifist, but part of what he'd talk about was not judging people, either. And if I do judge them, it's not possible to do what I came here for, which is to help, but it seems like every time I meet a new person it's something I could spend years just trying to help them untangle, and I'm only expected to focus on one."

[mercurialize]

"Well, technically, I already did the untangling." He gives a wider gesture. "And this is the finished result. I'm, unfortunately, still very much myself." A quick bow, almost a joke.

"And yeah, you focus on the one because it could take years for just the one. Sometimes it does. Took about a year for me."

[de_nile]

"Hey-" A little smile, and a side eye. "Nothing unfortunate about it, unless you think you've got a better option. Congratulations, yeah?"

[mercurialize]

He grimaces. "Thanks, but that was a while ago."

He's mulling something over now. No, too soon. "How're you liking this place so far? Adjusted to it yet?"

[de_nile]

"Still takes work to maintain, don't it?"

You're working on yourself, it's good!

"I really like it, but sometimes when I say that people look like they're going to shoot me, so I'll preface that I do understand not liking it. But my favorite thing is to learn, really, and there's so much available to me here! D'you know I think I'm at B1 fluency in my second language? We've got three native speakers and I've been bugging them like mad to let me practice on them."

[mercurialize]

"No, not really." It's more a 'do or don't' situation, as far as he's concerned.

Hmn.

"You do realize that some people not just dislike being here but adamantly find it punishing, if not insulting, right? And you see it as... a pleasant cruise?" He waves a dismissive hand. "Look, it's good you're adjusted, but maybe don't let that on to others here. That's all I'm saying."

He means: Steven, you are going to get shot.

[de_nile]

"Yeah, no, I was trying to be - to be a bit -" He was trying to soften out the language.

"Sorry. People have told me this, and - and I'm doing my best to internalize all of it."

Coffee mug goes in the little plastic platform, and starts getting filled.

[mercurialize]

That coffee thingy is magic, Kylar's pretty sure. But then, this whole ship is. If he didn't know any better, he'd assume this whole place was run by the Chantry or another Khali wannabe. Something, something, energy and soul sucking.

"I'm not trying to tell you to be miserable. Just use your brain and some caution." Hilarious, coming from this guy. The irony is not lost on him. "I mean, hypothetically, let's say you were an inmate. What would you think of this place? Of being here against your will?"

[de_nile]

"Relieved to not be dead," Immediately. "Still pretty thrilled with the library. Probably constantly terrified I'd disappear? But I already am as a warden anyway, really."

[mercurialize]

"Aha," he holds up a finger. The dead thing. People always talk about the dead thing. "Keeping to hypotheticals. Let's say death isn't a worry for you. You die, but you come back. Your own means of doing it. They suck, by the way. But it works." Oddly specific hypothetical, huh.

"But you don't need this place. You still worried about disappearing? Or would you be grateful for it?"